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Bargain like an Indian!

I will pay full price for this item… said no Indian ever 😉

Rule #1 – The true price of any item is what you pay

MRP in India stands for ‘Mere Rate Pe’. We Indians are experts at bargaining and we bargain on the MRP, whether it stands for maximum retail price or minimum retail price. We will neither accept the actual price nor settle for a standard price. And, we bargain because it is in our blood.

Rule # 2 – Always try for 70% off

You: Bhaiya, kitne ka?
Shopkeeper: Maidam, 250.
You: 75 me dega toh lega?
Shopkeeper: *facepalm*

We Indians have a discount season the year round, we don’t need special coupons, we ourselves are coupons!

Rule # 3 – Make them show lots of merchandise

Woh wali saari dikhao,
Nai kuch jam nahi raha, blue wali dikhana…
Nai ye kuch zyaada hi blue hai, aapke pass DESIGNER collection hai?

It’s our birth right to make the vendor sweat profusely, so that he is tired and doesn’t have the strength to fight the bargain battle.

Rule # 4 – Offer on one item at a time

*you pick up two things*
You: Bhaiya, ye dono ka kitna?
Shopkeeper: Maidam 500.
You: Bhaiyaji, Samaj k bolo
Shopkeeper: Chalo 475 dedo
* 475 for 2, means 230 for one*
You: Bhaiya abhi ek hi chaiye, yelo 200!
Shopkeeper: *facepalm*

After all, Indians are world-renowned strategists and of course, mathematicians…

Rule # 5 – Wait for the paper pad or the calculator

Every shopkeeper has a paper pad or calculator that they pull out when the bargaining gets a bit more serious. They may contemplate, calculate, derive or determine the price, but on the other side, sits an Indian who never forgets – Rule #2.

Rule # 6 – Say “TOO HIGH”, too many times

Don’t even start negotiating until the shopkeeper has scratched through the initial price and lowered it at least twice.

You: Bhaiya, kitne ka?
Shopkeeper: Maidam 300.
*shake your head*
*start looking at other vendors*
Shopkeeper: Maidam 275 me chahiye?
*repeat the same stuff*
Shopkeeper: Maidam 250 me lega?
You: Ek ka bhav bolo, sab ka nahi, bhaiya!
Shopkeeper: Toh kitne me lega?
You: 150 me dega toh lega
Shopkepper: Chalo lelo *facepalm*

Rule # 7 – Imply a bundled purchase

Now that the price has been cut 25-30%, ask the shopkeeper what deal he would give you if you buy two items. Expect 5% off. Ask for three items and get another 5%. Then add a very expensive 4th item — one which you do not intend to buy. This will excite him and he will do a bunch of calculations which you will be unable to follow. The price will come down for the expensive item as well as for the other items you intend to buy. Lock those prices and drop the expensive item!

We Indians are geniuses, aren’t we?

AS A CONSUMER – what are your special bargaining tricks? Share in the comments section below!

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